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Old Maps Show Exactly How Much Traveling Use To Suck

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Are we there yet? How about now? Now?

Traveling cross-country in 1800? Hope you're ready to walk forever.

Traveling cross-country in 1800? Hope you're ready to walk forever.

Source: mnn.com

Even with a horse, travel was long and hard. Most people never bothered.

Even with a horse, travel was long and hard. Most people never bothered.

Philadelphia - 2 Days
Columbus - 3 Weeks
Milwaukee - 2 Months
(Future Site Of) Sacramento - 1+ Years

Source: shorpy.com

By 1830, travel was revolutionized as passenger trains became more widespread.

By 1830, travel was revolutionized as passenger trains became more widespread.

Source: mnn.com  /  via: laughingsquid.com

But train speeds capped out at 30 mph, so travel was still time consuming. (But fancy!)

But train speeds capped out at 30 mph, so travel was still time consuming. (But fancy!)

Philadelphia - 1 Day
Columbus - 1 Week
Milwaukee - 1 Month
Sacramento - 6 Months

Source: voteview.com


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Carrie Fisher's Sad Bittersweet Letter To Princess Leia

Medieval Doctors: Misdiagnosing The Hell Out Of Everything

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Bless you modern medicine. If you're home sick with the flu, take comfort in the knowledge you live today.

Before we get started, let me put on an official Doctor-ing costume.

Before we get started, let me put on an official Doctor-ing costume.

Plague doctor costumes were a terrifying but common sight. The defined bird-nose mask didn't become universal until the 1600s but we're going to run with it.

The traditional costume consisted of a mask stuffed with herbs to ward off bad humors and also to scare away spirits because those bastards were always making people sick. Doctors used the cane to touch infected patients because honestly, who wants to touch plague infested people? Gross.

Source: en.wikipedia.org

If you want to observe without getting sick, hold this.

If you want to observe without getting sick, hold this.

As medieval theory held sickness was spread by bad smells, pomander balls were a super popular upper class accessory. They held a wide assortment of disgusting ingredients meant to ward off pestilence. The most common mixture included deer musk and ambergris, otherwise known as a by-product of whale poop. Because obviously inhaling fecal matter and deer hormones will keep you healthy.

Source: en.wikipedia.org

Now that we're properly armed, time to consult the urine charts!

Now that we're properly armed, time to consult the urine charts!

Urine charts helped physicians determined an illness based on the quantity, color, smell, and even taste (oh God really??) of the patient's urine. Combined with an astrology table about planet and star alignments, doctors were totally able to 100% accurately diagnosis many diseases.

Source: discoveringmedieval.co.uk

Let's get to diagnosing these poor (rich) people!

Let's get to diagnosing these poor (rich) people!

Peasants didn't get medical care, except maybe from witches. Doctors ain't running no charity. You've got to pay for this kind of specialized ignorance.

Source: bl.uk


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Science Avengers, Assemble!

Cell Phone Etiquette Explained By Propaganda Posters

The Only F*cking Las Vegas Tour You'll Ever Need

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Someone give this guy a travel show already. After Greg gave the Internet a tour of his cruise ship , he hit up the Vegas strip.

Source: youtube.com  /  via: @mediocrefilms

Disney Debuts 5 Limited Edition Couture Mickey Ears

"Game Of Thrones" Season 3 Teaser Sings "The Rains Of Castamere"

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LANNISTERS! Plus a look at the long-awaited return of the three-eyed crow.

Source: youtube.com  /  via: @GameOfThrones

And who are you, the proud lord said,
that I must bow so low?
Only a cat of a different coat,
that's all the truth I know.
In a coat of gold or a coat of red,
a lion still has claws,
And mine are long and sharp, my lord,
as long and sharp as yours.

Chorus:

And so he spoke, and so he spoke,
that lord of Castamere,
But now the rains weep o'er his hall,
with no one there to hear.
Yes now the rains weep o'er his hall,
and not a soul to hear.


"Jack The Giant Slayer" Continues The CGI Abuse Trend

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Hollywood, please stop your love affair with computer graphics. Practical effects are so much more…practical looking.

Source: geektyrant.com

New Line Cinema released a series of new posters for Jack The Giant Slayer which play off the classic "Fee Fye Fo Fum" line from the fairy tale the movie is (loosely) based on. You can see the whole set over here.

The posters reinforce the fear sparked with the trailer (below) that the film is straying into the territory of unsettling digital playgrounds first seen in Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland. Can we officially declare this a trend now? A disturbing one at that.

Source: youtube.com

When Alice came out in 2010 it seemed a natural progression for Burton, since his 2005 remake of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory included over 800 visual effects. One could even argue Alice's world is hallucinogenic enough to warrant the eye-candy smorgasbord. But then things got out of hand.

Whenever something is successful, Hollywood likes to replicate it because hey, free money. So in 2011 Sucker Punch took the concept of fully digital worlds for a darker turn. But its critical failure heralded the quick return of frenetic bubble gum universes. This year alone, Oz: The Great And Powerful and Jack The Giant Slayer are forgoing silly things like "sets."

Of course, CGI is one of the easiest ways to convey to an audience that characters aren't in Kansas anymore, so to speak, but when the only thing real on the screen is the actors (and occasionally not even then), it doesn't matter how big your effects budget is. Our brains don't like it. At all.

Please Hollywood, throw us some men in raptor costumes.


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Transplant Patient Holds Her Heart In Her Hands

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Meet Penny. Talk about a surreal experience.

Source: imgur.com

After surviving cancer and and crippling heart failure, Penny is literally holding her heart in her hands. According to her friend Kelsey, this photo was taken before the heart was cremated so Penny could take it home as a souvenir.

Marvel Launching XX-Men Title For The Ladies

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Because calling it “X-Women” would be gauche. Some of our favorite female mutants are teaming up this April.

Based on this cover art, it looks like the new comic will feature Psylocke, Storm, Rogue, Rachel Grey, Kitty Pryde, and Jubilee.

According to Marvel's press release:

An old enemy shows up at the X-Men's door, seeking asylum from an ancient evil come back to Earth. Meanwhile, Jubilee has come home, and she's brought with her an orphaned baby who might hold the key to the Earth's survival…or its destruction! With an imminent alien invasion and an eons-spanning war between brother and sister around the corner, Storm steps up and puts together a team to protect the child and stop a new threat that could destroy all life in the Marvel Universe!

Despite the all-female cast, the book will be titled X-Men. It will be written and drawn by two men, Brian Wood and Olivier Coipel.

However, the art will be colored by Laura Martin so Escher Girl poses should be kept to a minimum.

Creepy Brazilian Bug Could Pass For An Alien

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Nature, what are you doing? Evolution is real, and it is terrifying.

Oh that's not so bad...

Oh that's not so bad...

Source: patricklandmann.com  /  via: whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com

If you ever needed proof truth is stranger than fiction, look no further than the Brazilian treehopper Bocydium globular. Without photographic evidence to the contrary, it'd be easy to dismiss this bizarre species as the product of the imagination of Salvador Dali or H.R. Giger.

The function of ornamentation appears to be to deter predators since both male and female Treehoppers exhibit a wide array of growths. If it were a sexual prowess display, only the males would look like nightmare fuel. Prevailing theory is one look at a Treehooper with its bumpy ridges and spiny globes makes it obvious this snack would hurt on the way down.

NOPE.

NOPE.

Source: patricklandmann.com  /  via: whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com

JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL.

JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL.

Source: patricklandmann.com  /  via: whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com


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Hugh Jackman Is Ripped/Mad As Hell

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Wolverine is looking a little vein-y. This still from the new movie The Wolverine shows off Jackman's commitment to living in the gym during filming.

The Wolverine hits theaters July 26, 2013.

Source: geektyrant.com

Flipping Off The Camera Is An Age-Old Pastime

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Dammit Charles!

Can you find it?

Can you find it?

Source: retronaut.com

There it is!

There it is!

Source: retronaut.com

The photo was taken in 1886 during the Opening Day game between the New York Giants and the Boston Beaneaters (really?).

With one finger Charles "Old Hoss" Radbourn of the Boston Beaneaters (seriously?) earns a place in history as the first known man to flip the bird on camera. Bonus points for managing to photobomb in a time when photographs required almost a full minute of complete stillness not to come out blurry.

How To Clip Your Fingernails In Space

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Because no one wants to accidentally lodge your runaway nails in their nasal cavity. Every day tasks become a challenge in zero gravity.

Source: @Cmdr_Hadfield  /  via: neatorama.com


10 Heroic "Shushing Cat" Attempts To Save The Day

The Star Wars Response To The White House Is Awesome

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Behold the power of this fully armed and operational press release!

Last week, the Obama Administration ignored citizen requests to build a Death Star.

And today, the Galatic Empire passive-aggressively called-out Earth.

A representative of the Empire had this to say over on the official Star Wars blog:

IMPERIAL CENTER, CORUSCANT – The overwhelming military superiority of the Galactic Empire has been confirmed once again by the recent announcement by the President of the United States that his nation would not attempt to build a Death Star, despite the bellicose demands of the people of his tiny, aggressive planet. "It is doubtless that such a technological terror in the hands of so primitive a world would be used to upset the peace and sanctity of the citizens of the Galactic Empire," said Governor Wilhuff Tarkin of the Outer Rim Territories. "Such destructive power can only be wielded to protect and defend by so enlightened a leader as Emperor Palpatine."


Representatives on behalf of the nation-state leader from the unimaginatively named planet refused to acknowledge the obvious cowardice of their choice, preferring instead to attribute the decision to fiscal responsibility. "The costs of construction they cited were ridiculously overestimated, though I suppose we must keep in mind that this miniscule planet does not have our massive means of production," added Admiral Conan Motti of the Imperial Starfleet.

Emissaries of the Emperor also caution any seditious elements within the Galactic Senate not to believe Earth's exaggerated claims of there being a weakness in the Death Star design. "Any attacks made upon such a station — should one ever be built — would be a useless gesture," added Motti.

10 Reasons You Should Be Watching "Ultimate Spider-Man"

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Turning 50 doesn't mean Peter Parker is getting out of high school anytime soon. Spider-Man returns for an all new generation to grow up on.

Spider-Man is returning to back his roots. An award-winning comic book writer and TV producer, Jeph Loeb spent years working on hit shows such as Smallville, LOST, and Heroes before taking over as Marvel's head of television. Loeb spoke to BuzzFeed on the phone about what to expect from Season Two of Marvel's new take on the web-slinger and why you should be watching.

Agent Phil Coulson.

Agent Phil Coulson.

BuzzFeed: Is the Avengers movie universe the traditional Marvel world, or is it the alternate reality seen in the Ultimate series?

Jeph Loeb: The idea was to try and capture the spirit of Marvel and to make sure what we were doing was in line with what we refer to as Marvel's DNA. It really just comes down to "Does it feel like Marvel?" which is epic story-telling about the human spirit. Clark Gregg, who is amazing, is actually playing Agent Coulson on the show.

The humor.

The humor.

BF: The show is very fourth wall breaking. Almost a Deadpool-lite vibe?

Loeb: Humor has always been a big part of Spider-Man. When we started talking about doing Ultimate Spider-Man we were talking about the best ways to capture humor in an animated show. We thought the audience is already so like Peter, why don't we just really be Peter and break that fourth wall and let him talk to us and take us inside his head and his fantasies?

The team.

The team.

(L to R: Agent Coulson, Danny Rand/Iron Fist, Luke Cage/Powerman, Sam Alexander/Nova, Peter Parker/Spider-Man, Ava Ayala/White Tiger)

BF: How did you decide who would round out Spider-Man's S.H.I.E.L.D. team?

Loeb: Keep in mind this project started almost three years ago and at the time we were looking forward to who might be the next big characters, the next big franchises. Just like we just announced Guardians of the Galaxy, we are certainly looking at the Heroes for Hire franchise which is Luke Cage and Iron Fist and Nova is very important to us; he happens to have a new comic book series starting in February which is oddly enough written by me. And White Tiger is, again, a character we just saw real possibility with. And of course each character had to have a unique voice and have their power sets to complement each other. The costumes need to be distinct enough from each other so you recognize them even in motion. We wanted a superteam that kids and families could look at and look up to, relate to.


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Disney Mug Spoils "Oz" Wicked Witch Reveal

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Considering the lengths Disney has gone to obscure whether Rachel Weisz or Mila Kunis goes green, this could be considered a massive spoiler. You have been warned.

Zoom.

Zoom.

Source: disneystore.com  /  via: bleedingcool.com

Enhance!

Enhance!

Source: disneystore.com  /  via: bleedingcool.com

Which is interesting given the description of her character from Oz The Great And Powerful press releases:

Theodora is a beautiful, naïve witch who is protected by her powerful sister Evanora. Theodora only wants peace to come to the Land of Oz and truly believes that a prophesied wizard will arrive someday to restore order.

In what be the one of the worst kept plot twists of 2013, Wikipedia goes so far to name not only Kunis as the Wicked Witch of the West but take the spoilers a step further by fingering Weisz as the evil witch Dorothy will one day murder via house.

Inside China's Unauthorized "World Of Warcraft" Theme Park

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This is a thing that exists. Joyland is being hailed as China's digital Disneyland.

Back in the beginning of 2011, rumbling started on the Internet about China building the world's first video-game theme park in the Jiangsu province. Within six months, Shanghaiist was on the ground and taking photos shortly after the park celebrated its April 29 grand opening.

Image by Francesca Timbers & James Timbers

With the park's price tag of 200 million yuan, or about $30 million, park investors weren't going to let a little thing like "copyright infringement" stand in the way of their 600,000-square-meter cash cow. And despite their "Terrain of Magic" land bearing a striking resemblance to Blizzard MMO behemoth "World of Warcraft," or perhaps because of it, Joyland has become known as China's Disneyland, with over 30,000 people in attendance for its one-year anniversary this past May.

Image by Francesca Timbers & James Timbers


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