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14 Epiphanies You'll Have Re-Watching "The Little Mermaid"

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ARIEL IS WEARING HER SKIN AS A DRESS. And they call humans barbaric.

Mermaids suck at hide-and-seek.

Mermaids suck at hide-and-seek.

Atlantica enjoys a hell of a lot of sunlight for a secret undersea kingdom. Which is fine until you start to question how far sunlight penetrates the ocean, and the answer is only about one-tenth of a mile. So, slightly over 600 feet under the sea there is a species of mythical creatures, the royalty of which live in a castle so tall you could accidentally step on it while snorkeling. Worst hidden civilization. Ever.

Evidence suggests Ariel's mom was sleeping around.

Evidence suggests Ariel's mom was sleeping around.

No, seriously. Barring the confusing and contradictory ages of Ariel’s sisters from the wiki, they all appear to have been born around the same time but have vastly varying physical appearances — meaning mermaids breed in multiples, and like cats, can be impregnated by multiple partners at once. So either Triton and his wife were righteously kinky, or she was getting some from the pool boy…and the valet…and the butcher.

Source: Tumblr.com

Evolution hates merfolk.

Evolution hates merfolk.

What the actual hell, evolution? Are you drunk? Humanlike hair is not helpful when living underwater. Neither is humanlike skin instead of scales or whatever crazy witchcraft dolphins have. They have no gills, so how do they filter water? They abhor humans eating fish, so what do they eat? Exactly how long can they survive above water? Ariel creepily hovers over Eric for HOURS with no ill effects if the rising sun is to be believed.

Source: place-for-the-wicked.tumblr.com

King Triton secretly loves human things.

King Triton secretly loves human things.

Methinks this is a case of the the merman doth protest too much. Don't believe? Behold!

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